8-2 satire2

The Center for Literate Values ~ Defending the Western tradition of responsible individualism, disciplined freedom, tasteful creativity, common sense, and faith in a supreme moral being.



A Common-Sense Journal of Literary and Cultural Analysis

8.2 (Spring 2008)




“OLD KING COLE”: article abstract

David Z. Crookes

     Postcolonial race-gender-class theorists like Mjinga who reconjugate the subaltern-paradigm in terms of classical Prester-Johnism believe that although albocentric paternalism is Cole’s keyest given, the anachronistic scopophilia which is embeddedly phenomenic in any gendered-gaze reading of a paleocolonial “hisness” contrapuntally devalorizes the monarchical masterism inscribed in its metrically tyrannized text.  Irradicated in (and synergetically liminalized by) the metrocolonial project, the orientationist reliquary called “literature” is still intolerably vinculated by antiquated palimpsest-edicts, with the result that hyperprivileged parasocietal proaesthetics like Mercator’s racist projection and deracinative heterosexist compradorism, which were weakened by the postcolonial academy, are periodically revalorized.  Any metahierarchical deembedment of Mjinga’s “old” regalism chromatizes the race-gender-class postcolonial counter-discourse by cartographically emphasizing its anglocentric keyness.  While the pocahontasized Cole is “merry”, he barbarianizes his “soul” by exploitatively subvalorizing his own postcolonial people-group, for it is clear that the heterocratic givenness of his environment tangentializes on a conveniently pretasked “was”.  Cole’s alteritous metaracism deossianizes the hypoculturally paracolonial praxis of his in-denial hegemony, derridizing the postcolonial embeddedness of unkey conspecifics and hypervalorizing their metacolonial systemic nexus-links with the givenly eurocentric “enlightenment” project (Newark 2001).

My race-gender-class explication of “Old King Cole” postcolonializes Akimbo’s keyly unventriloquized xanthochroism within Mjeledi’s paraculture of haggardized protocolonialism by epistemically reconfiguring the hybridic narrative-fissure between the hypercolonial semioticism of the “pipe” and the oligocentric essentialism of the “bowl”.  It goes without saying that the obviously female and clearly fettered “fiddlers” valorify the transculturation that Mjinga critiques by characterizing all models of postcolonial “threeness” (which we metathetically mimic) as scriptocentric rhizomes of subcolonial joplinism (which we noologically auscultate).  Having been peripheralized, and subjected to “the rule of thumb”, the three female slave-musicians cry out for postcolonial deminstrelization, retroducing Cole’s crusoeist parahegemony even as they attempt to fanonize the lexicon of autocolonial surveillance-behaviours.  Mbuzi’s keyer subechelon of heterocolonial bricoleurism must be interrogated metaculturally for the ultraimperialist heuristics that it dereifies and the hyperembedded deontics that it postcolonially otherizes (Schiffer 1993).  Readers who discern what the king has really “called for” will acknowledge that the closet-Manichaean Cole’s “merriness” is nothing more than an expression of unicolonial heterochauvinism, and they will also applaud the utter rectitude of laissez-faire misandry, which Mwalimu defines as the energizing principle of all postcolonial theory.


David Z Crookes is British, and lives in Belfast, where he was born in 1952.  He holds degrees in Hebrew, Latin, German, and music.  After leaving university, he gained a professional qualification in musical instrument-making, and a diploma for a thesis on sports administration.  His publications in scholarly journals include articles on Chinese, English, French, Hebrew, Italian, Latin, Norwegian, Russian, and Spanish literature.  His translation from German of Michael Praetorius’s De Organographia I-II was published by Oxford University Press as a hardback in 1986 and as a paperback in 1991.  Crookes has made replicas of many ancient, medieval and Renaissance instruments.  At various times he has run instrument-making courses in the United Kingdom and in Sweden.  He has also written and arranged a good deal of music.  As director of his own early music consort, and player of several instruments, he has broadcast on the BBC both nationally and on the World Service.

     Aside from work and study, Crookes is a frequent preacher in local churches.  At different times in his life he has enjoyed going to the ballet, riding horses, collecting bronzes, coins, paintings, rugs, and stamps, making paper, and building crude furniture.